“Geriatric German Grandmas Spanking Spanish Men”, or An Exercise in SEO

Well, I’m back in town for a day before heading off again for two weeks, and I thought I would take a moment to try a fun little experiment in Search Engine Optimization before I go.  I want to see if I can get the #1 position in Google for the phrase “Geriatric German Grandmas Spanking Spanish Men” with purely on-page SEO methods.  That means absolutely no external backlinking.

I was perusing the forum over at The Keyword Academy and someone asked the question, “How much traffic should I expect from a website which I have sent 4100 links to?”  The question surprised me, as the person asking it is pretty successful already.  He already makes over $1000 a month in AdSense income.

The reason the question surprised me is that the poster didn’t give any of the information that the other forum members would actually need to answer it properly.  Without knowing the number of monthly searches that are being done for the site’s keyword phrases and long-tail variations or the nature of the competing websites for those phrases, it just isn’t possible to come up with even a ballpark estimate of the potential traffic.  The poster is totally fixated on a set number of backlinks, while he should be looking at a significantly larger picture.

I pointed out that more info was needed to answer the question, and in the process used a very obscure song lyric as an example of a phrase that might not require even one backlink to reach #1 in Google.  The phrase “Geriatric German Grandmas Spanking Spanish Men” is from a song called “Internet Porn” by DaVinci’s Notebook.  For somewhat obvious reasons, no one has optimized a page targeting this phrase.  Of the top ten results in Google, not one of the pages has the phrase in its title, head, or description tag.  Only two of the ten include the phrase in their URLs.  Most are PageRank 0 with no backlinks, but the #1 ranked page is a PR 4 YouTube video of the song with 268 backlinks.

This post will be set up to be fully optimized on-page for Geriatric German Grandmas Spanking Spanish Men, but it will have absolutely no backlinks (at least, none that I will be creating).  Once it is published, I am going to watch and see whether or not pure on-page SEO will beat out the unoptimized #1 result.  It might be interesting.

When I get back from my vacation proper in two weeks, I will be sure to update you all on both the experiment and my newest niche site.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to “Geriatric German Grandmas Spanking Spanish Men”, or An Exercise in SEO

  1. Currently #4 in my Google search results and #1 at DuckDuckGo (which I guess is quickly becoming the standard replacement for Scroogle, which I didn’t even know was defunct until I tried to search your term there…)

    Good stuff, interesting article, and I wish I had seen the original thread over at TKA, because my initial reaction to the question was what you ended up explaining in full throughout the article.

    But, I don’t spend much time in the TKA forums these days…

    • Cory says:

      Wow. I hadn’t checked Scroogle in a while, and I didn’t know it was defunct either. I’ll have to check out DuckDuckGo. Since I haven’t updated the results of this experiment in quite a while, I will say that I was getting the majority of my traffic to this site for a while from variations on that phrase. In particular, “German spanking” seems to draw a fairly steady trickle of people to the site, which I hadn’t really considered before launching the experiment. 😉

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *